Top 5 Chuck Norris Facts

chucknorris.jpgChuck Norris is THE MAN. Well..after watching “24” (yes, I finally caved in and am on disc 2 of Season 1) Jack Bauer might be the man now but Chuck Norris has something that Jack Bauer doesn’t have yet…The Chuck Norris Facts.

My Top 5 Chuck Norris Facts:

1. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

2. Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.

3. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

4. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

5. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

you can find more at the Chuck Norris Facts website. Let me know which ones are your favorites.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

dbleoh7 May 8, 2007 at 7:07 pm

chuck norris and bill brasky jokes are hilarious. this is my favorite although it’s not a cuck norris.

“Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found ’em!'”

Frank May 8, 2007 at 10:29 pm

holy crap i think i used to have that comic!

Martial Development May 9, 2007 at 12:47 am

I admire your restraint in picking only five. I couldn’t select any less than 14 Chuck Norris facts.

Johnny May 9, 2007 at 2:26 am

bill brasky huh? i need to look him up and see what’s going on with him. but Chuck Norris Facts will live on forever!

Johnny May 9, 2007 at 2:28 am was pretty hard to just choose 5 but i had to stay with the requirements of the project otherwise i’d have easily 20 more. haha.

Ali May 9, 2007 at 5:02 am

Chuck Norris for President! That list is hilarious!

Good luck in the group blog project, have a look at my entry on my blog.

Justin Durst Jr May 9, 2007 at 9:31 am

Great post! I’ve got a friend who is a Chuck Fact junkie. I’ve sent him the link.

Johnny May 9, 2007 at 10:59 am

should’ve kept it! it could be worth millions!

Panther28 May 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm

I used to like him when I was like 5. I think I have grown out of that age.

Barry August 3, 2007 at 9:10 am

Great Chuck Norris facts. Thanks for the link.

fish October 3, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands and from that point on they were just called the islands.

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