1) What brand hydrometer do you recommend? or are they all the same?
I use a Full Range Hydrometer by Aquarium Systems (its like $6 US online, I paid $25 Canadian

), but its pretty good. Next step would be a refractometer at $100+.
2) HOW do you clean the sand before you put it in the tank?
I like super reef grade aragonite by CaribSea, it comes prewashed, with only a little bit of dust, which settles perfectly fine.
3) HOW do you mix the salt and the water? A little more info than the obvious would help here...explain it for a dummy please
Grab a bucket (or a larger container), fill with water roughly the same temp as your aquarium, add about 1/2 cup per gallon of salt, mix using your hand/a spoon etc. until the salt is dissolved (a few minutes). Throw a powerhead in and let mix for a good hour, then take a salinity reading, adjust as necessary. When you get the salinity right, mix overnight (the ph starts out really high (sometimes over 9), once mixed it stabilizes).
4) Is salt = salt...why are there so many different companies that make it and such varying prices?
Everybody makes their salt with varying amounts of trace elements, buffers etc. There are some really, really good brands... unfortunately, they are never seen in stores anymore, because bigger companies caused them to shrink their operations. Of the big brands, instant ocean is good.
5) How much does one travel with Live Rock?obviously not in a little fishy bag
Do they have thicker, larger bags used when they sell full grown oscars and the like? They might put in that, I sold rock and placed it dry in a styrofoam shipping container (they get them when they get fish in).
6) how much live rock per gallon should one expect? 1 lb per gallon?
If its good rock, and you pick out pieces that are light for their size, then 1 lb per gallon is a starting figure, which you may or may not want to adjust to suit your tastes. I find that 1.5 lbs per gallon of high quality rock is enought to fill the back of most tanks (if you stack it well and get the right size pieces) across and about 1/2 to 2/3 up.
7) If i have 40watts of lighting (50/50 and acticnic) what size tank is that enough for? 10-15-20-30 gallon?? What are you going for? A reef or fish only? With that lighting (id switch the actinic for a 10k bulb actually, thats very blue as you have it right there...), you can keep soft corals, mushrooms, polyps, possibly small lps corals like the bubble coral etc. in a 10 gallon, anything larger you really need more light. Fish only, if you can see the fish, your ok
Things I have learned:
1) Need to get a Red Sea Prizm skimmer (<50$)
I hope you meant >$50, its about $70-$80 online.